Someone thought I Was Enormously Gorgeous

Someone once said I was enormously gorgeous. When I looked in the mirror this morning I asked the question, "Are you talking about me?"

They said that it was because I had beautiful blonde hair. I don't - fact is, I have a slighly receding hairline that is more gray or white than blonde. But I count my blessings that there is something there.

To be enormously gorgeous they said I needed to have perfectly straight white teeth. I don't any more - there's a gap here or there and I observe dentists licking their chops and checking heir balance sheets every time I visit,

To be enormously gorgeous, they told me that I could not have little brown dots called freckles on my face. I didn't back then but now I have age spots and an eager-to-grow beard growth. Thank goodness I haven't gained too many wrinkles.

To be enormously gorgeous, said the other person, I needed to be the smartest kid in town. I wasn't and I'm not. It took me three times to pass algebra in high school and probably never got my deportment above a D. I've done all right since school - maybe age mellows a person.

To be enormously gorgeous, they said, I need to be able to tell the funniest jokes around. My problem is that I remember part of a joke  but seem to always forget the punch line

To be enormously gorgeous, I was told, I had to live in the nicest house in the best neighborhood. I remember the years where our trailer homes progressed from 27 feet to 30 feet, to 33 feet, to 38 feet,

to 40 feet, and finally to a 55 foot 10 wide mobile home. Each time a new child came along it seemed we moved into a larger unit. Now I'm happy to be in an independent living 2 bedroom 2 bath senior apartment. Better, I think than some of the negative alternatives.

To be enormously gorgeous, my advisor said, it involves wearing only the coolest clothes and most popular shoes. Maybe my blue jeans and tennies might come close in this category but they sure are not like what we had to wear to school back when nice shoes, sport coats, ties, and stylish slacks were the norm.

My friend said that you had to come from, and become,  the perfect family to be enormously gorgeous. Some in my ancestry really thought this but I learned how not to be perfect from a couple of classmates and my brother.

But when I look back to my age in the picture I might have fit my mother's idea of enormously gorgeous. Then I looked in the mirror and thought to my mom - "sorry, beautiful lady, there have been a few changes over the years."